One day in class, I noticed one of my students sitting at his desk staring off into space with his airpods in his ears. This was not typical behavior for him, so I knew something was wrong. I tried my usual jokes with him, and that was an epic fail! I had actually made things worse. At that point, I decided to just continue with the lesson. As I taught, I noticed him becoming more irritated and uninterested. Soon, he began making comments about how nothing he was learning in my math class mattered. Eventually, these comments led to him saying that all of school was completely pointless and a waste of time. It was then I decided to have a conversation with him individually.
Sometimes, as adults, we tend to forget how we felt as children growing up. Although the circumstances may be different (we didn’t have to worry about getting our cell phones taken up in school), the emotional traps and traumas are still the same. Can you remember a time when you were in an undesirable emotional state, but didn’t quite know how to get out of it? Would it have helped to have a caring adult to recognize your need in that moment and offer you some encouragement? I think this is what all children need; an adult who cares enough to not just recognize the emotional discontent, but who is willing to go the extra inch and show that they care. So here is my Five to Thrive Method I used with that student, and honestly, with any child.
Validation - Kids need adults to validate their feelings instead of dismissing them. Even if we feel the child is overreacting or being ridiculous, the emotions they are feeling are very real.
Vantage - Allowing the child to explain the situation from their viewpoint is critical in gaining the child’s trust. Children who feel heard are more likely to listen willingly instead of forcefully.
Verification - Children don’t always know all the facts surrounding a situation. Help the child by sharing pertinent information that they may be misunderstanding or that they may not have known.
Vision - Sometimes children can’t see past their current moments to think about how current circumstances will eventually change. We can help by offering a future perspective that the child desires instead of allowing them to only focus on the current undesirable situation.
Value - Just like adults all children want and need to feel loved, valued, and respected. Letting the child know you are an emotional resource, is sometimes the best medicine for their soul.
A couple of days later, the same student walked into class and gave me the biggest hug ever! (This is rare for high schoolers!) I hugged him back and asked if he was okay. He said, “Mrs. Wilson, you saved my life.”
So if you know a child who could use some encouragement, try this method and let me know how it works. Who knows...you may be saving a child’s life. I look forward to reading and responding to your comments.
The Author
Valerie G. Wilson Valerie is a wife, mother, educator, and transformational speaker. Her life’s calling is to inspire teens to reevaluate, readjust, and reimagine their beliefs to transform their mindsets and create new possibilities for themselves and those around them.
You can connect with Valerie on Facebook @AnointedArmorAcademy and Instagram @hisanointedarmor.
Komentarze